Tech Support Calls from Hell
February 29, 2008
Found these on a website called Computer Stupidities…
- Customer: “Me machine’s broke.”
- Me: “Ok, what wrong with it?”
- Customer: “I’ve just tole yer — IT’S BROKE!”
- Me: “Ok, so what’s it doing wrong?”
- Customer: “Nothing.”
…
- Me: “Is there anything on the screen?”
- Customer: “Yeh, garbage.”
- Me: “What sort of garbage?”
- Customer: “I’ve tole yer — garbage.”
…
- Me: “Can you read out the garbage to me?”
- Customer: “P-L-E-A-S-E P-R-E-S-S E-N-T-E …… !” (click)
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About a year ago, a customer from Roswell, NM, called in to place an order. To break the ice, I jokingly asked if he or any of his neighbors had seen any aliens lately. The guy laughed and proceeded to tell me all about the crazies (his word, not mine) that not only live in Roswell but who come on vacation there in hopes of seeing a UFO themselves. As he talked, I processed the order, and the last bit of information I needed to complete it was the guy’s email address for marketing purposes.
- Customer: “Email! I won’t have anything to do with that Internet or modems of any sort! You should be careful about those. Don’t you know that once you install a modem, the government can look into your computer and watch everything you do? That’s why every night before I go to bed, I turn the monitor to the wall.
This is Kolametal, signing off.
$17,000 Blu-Ray player…WTF???
February 27, 2008
If you’ve ever wondered how a media room can run up a $300,000 tab, try this on for starters: a Blu-ray Disc player that goes for $17,000.
Switzerland-based Goldmund has upgraded its “Eidos 20” media player with the victorious video format, claiming that it’s the first Blu-ray player from a high-end audio-video equipment maker. As with all such products, one can’t help but wonder how the exorbitant price can be justified, though Goldmund claims “the finest AS-Curator power supply circuit and magnetic damping for ultimate sound and video reproduction with least amount of mechanical and electrical distortions,” according to SlashGear. Whatever.
Almost as if to add insult to injury, the box is about as nondescript as one can imagine: It looks like a piece of hospital equipment or something. For that kind of dough, you’d think they’d at least stick a couple of Swarovski crystals on it, just to humor us.
This is Kolametal, signing off.
Take-Two turns town EA aqusition
February 24, 2008
Apparently, it didn’t take them very long to consider Electronic Arts’ somewhat hostile buyout proposal — Take-Two’s Board of Directors just responded to the offer with a press release of their own, stating that EA CEO John Riccitiello’s proposal was “inadequate in multiple respects and not in the best interests of Take-Two’s stockholders.”
While EA’s proposal listed Grand Theft Auto IV as a primary reason for the merger, as Riccitiello claimed EA could lend their help during the game’s quickly approaching release, Strauss Zelnick, Take-Two’s executive chairman, listed GTAIV as the primary reason why they wouldn’t want to merge at this point in time, fully expecting to increase their overall value when the game hits store shelves come April 29.
Zelnick’s laundry list of reasons why the buyout wouldn’t benefit his company can be found on the press release. For now, let us rejoice in the postponement of the seemingly inevitable future where one superconglomerated gaming publisher/developer controls all game releases on the planet.
Personally, I am getting a little tired of EA simply trying to compensate for talent by buying up gaming studios that turn out some really good games. Don’t get me wrong, EA has its gems too. But year after year, they continue to produce games that are consistently mediocre. The only reasons, it seems, that EA does turn out some good games are that they 1) Produce a huge number of games every year, and a few happen to be good, and 2) They buy out studios that already are making some great games, and then rake in the cash from those franchises. I understand it is EA’s right to buy studios, that it is a free market, and that competition breeds better products-all of those things are good, but I’m just saying, Electronic Arts is a little too arrogant for my tastes.
This is Kolametal, signing off.
